Make it a source of motivation

Miriam Tiong just has a knack for motivating me without meaning to.

As in, things she says in passing actually have quite an impact on me and gets me thinking, thus helps motivate me.

That's twice now. I can't remember what the first time was about, but I remember it was something important, something that made a whole load of sense to me and woke me up.

This time, it was regarding our upcoming major major exam, A2.

I think I'm not the only one when I say that I've been experiencing some sort of a burn out, some sort indifference right now. Stress has been piling up, creating a huge burden on my shoulders and weighing me down. And other things that make it worse, are things about my future that are, in Izzat's words, pending; Not sure; Tak confirm. It makes me lose heart.

And so, I just sort of.. died. As in, it came to a point where I didn't really care anymore? I mean I still did, but it wasn't my priority. Like, I had no light at the end of a tunnel to run my fastest towards. Just slowly, leisurely walking towards. Or many even just wondering aimlessly in the dark. Thus, my progress has been stagnant as of late.

Until this morning. Mim and I were texting last night discussing stuff and her last reply came in this morning. It said something regarding some normal stuff in the beginning. The text then ended with,

"Less than a month more to freedom babe! Make it worth it. Take care!"

Make it worth it.

Make it worth it.

I said it over and over again in my head. Make it worth it. What exactly did that mean?

Make. It. Worth. It.

First "It" - Did it mean my studies? The whole 18 months I've been studying? To make it worth it? To make it count? To do well in A2 and thus in ALevels? Therefore, to stop feeling this "feeling" and start to realize that I should try my very hardest to do well?

Or did it mean my life? Currently, as a student? To play my role, as a daughter and student? To make my life worth it by getting the best grades I can try to get so that my future is a little brighter?

I know it may seem that this sentence is so mundane, and that I may have overanalysed it, but it really made me feel something. Made me remember what one of my purposes is. I mean, don't you think what she said makes a whole load of sense? And this leads on to my feeling that I have to do my best. Simply because.

It reminded me that I should, make it worth it.

Thanks, Mim :)